Love, love, love, love, crazy love.

"I'm holding on to love to save my life."


Whoa. That's my new philosophy. 


I'm always coming up with little life philosophies for myself, but this one I can attribute to none other than Shania Twain. I'm finding that a little strange considering some of her other song titles include "Man, I feel like a woman", "Waiter, bring me water", and "I'm not in the mood to say no." Not exactly life altering statements. But, I'm a firm believer in finding inspiration in small/strange/unexpected places. And what do you know? that song came up on my ipod and something about it struck me.


I can't talk about love without talking about God. No es posible. Because you see, we love because he first loved us. Here are a couple of my favorite verses about love from the bible:

If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, 

but have not love, I gain nothing. 1 Corinthians 13:3

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, 

and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 1 John 3:16

Every day I try to show love to the people I, well, love. But it's more than that. As I strive to live my life drawing closer to God, the love he has for me is infectious. It makes me happy, it keeps me grounded, it gives me reason to live, and it makes me want to love others as he loves me. It's hard, not gonna lie. Because I get annoyed and frustrated and selfish and the last thing I want to do is to show love to someone who just made me mad. But that's where the whole "love is patient, love is kind" thing comes in. And I have to remind myself of that. All the time.

And then, there's that I'll-love-you-forever-will-you-marry-me kind of love. And yeah, to say the least, I'm holding onto that. As much as I say Nicholas Sparks is cheesy (he really is) his books make me cry. They're just so...perfect. Nothing stands in the way of the man and woman. They love each other, and that's all that matters (unless he's a soldier and she marries someone else...) But the point is, love conquers all. I was reading this article on this website that's all about relationships, and all the "experts" say that the idea that love conquers all is totally a myth. I was flabberghasted. Is love that doesn't conquer all even love? I don't think so. At least not the forever kind of love that I'm holding onto. I take that definition of love very seriously. It's not something that you throw around right and 
left, and it's not what you're supposed to say to someone 
you're dating. It's the feeling you get somewhere deep inside you when you just...know. You know that anything is possible when you're holding that person's hand. You know that you don't want to live without that person. You know that person is your other half, you're complete and you're truly the best possible version of yourself. And when you find that love, it can and will conquer all. And you believe it with all that's inside of you.

Call me a hopeless romantic. Whatever. That's what I'm holding onto. And holding out for. 

"Love is patient..."

Afflictions eclipsed by glory.

I am SOOO completely jazzed that I was home this past Sunday because Dan Chitwood did it again. He opened my eyes to something about God that I had never even thought of. His sermon on Sunday was all about realizing that each one of us is just a tree in the big forest of the story of God. He talked about making the time we have on earth matter, making our stories epic, but also realizing that God's writing our stories and that he is in control. So much challenged my heart from hearing Dan's words, and I was especially inspired by something he said about the story of Job. 

I always thought of the story of Job as one about suffering, as a guide to how we should handle suffering in our lives, but it turns out, it's a lot bigger than that. God allows Job to undergo suffering. He lets it happen. He knows that Job will lose everything and that he will suffer immensely. Why? How could God do that to his son, to someone he loves unconditionally? It doesn't seem fair. And that's the point where so many people lose their faith in God. And that is so completely heartbreaking to me because that's not the way we're supposed to read the story. God allowed Job to suffer BECAUSE he loved him unconditionally and incomprehensibly. God allowed Satan to tear Job apart and let him become nothing because he had faith in his son and he knew that Job could handle the suffering and pain because he knew that Job would never forsake him. Dan talks about what it must have been like when God and Job were reunited in heaven: when God told Job why he allowed him to suffer, and that because Job relied on the strength and power of the Lord, he was able to defeat Satan's attempts to break him.

Here's the link to the sermon: http://www.crossbridgecommunity.org/new/content/blogcategory/21/155/

Really, it was amazing.

And it inspired me to look into this idea of "afflictions eclipsed by glory" and the idea that even when we can't see the end of our story, we can trust that God has it under control. We can trust that there is something bigger going on: God's perfect plan for not only us as individuals, but the entire world.

Here's some awesome stuff I found. I hope it inspires you too! Or at least makes you think :) The underlined parts are my favorites btw.

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

When we are in fear we can do nothing less than pray to God, but Our Lord has right to expect that those who name His Name should have an understanding confidence in Him. God expects His children to be so confident in Him that in any crisis they are the reliable ones....There are stages in life when there are no storms, no crisis, when we do our human best; it is when crisis arises that we instantly reveal upon whom we rely. If we have been learning to worship God and to trust Him, the crisis will reveal that we will go to the breaking point and not break in our confidence in Him.

-Oswald Chambers

He will set them off with communications of His presence which, though faint, seem great to them, with emotional sweetness, and easy conquest over temptation. But He never allows this state of affairs to last long. Sooner or later He withdraws, if not infact, at least from their conscious experience, all those supports and incentives. He leaves the creature to stand up on it's own leg- to carry out from the will alone duties which have lost relish. It is during such periods, much more than during peak periods, that it is growing into the sort of creature He wants it to be... He wants them to learn to walk and must therefore take away His hand; and if only the will to walk is really there He is pleased even with their stumbles.

-C.S. Lewis

This is my prayer in the desert 

When all that's within me feels dry 

This is my prayer in the hunger in me 

My God is the God who provides 

And this is my prayer in the fire 

In weakness or trial or pain 

There is a faith proved 

Of more worth than gold 

So refine me Lord through the flames 

I will bring praise 

I will bring praise 

No weapon formed against me shall remain 

I will rejoice 

I will declare 

God is my victory and He is here 

And this is my prayer in the battle 

When triumph is still on its way 

I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ 

So firm on His promise I'll stand 

All of my life 

In every season 

You are still God 

I have a reason to sing 

I have a reason to worship 

This is my prayer in the harvest 

When favor and providence flow 

I know I'm filled to be emptied again 

The seed I've received I will sow

-Desert Song by Hillsong United

It's demeaning, honestly.

Relationships are tricky. And I really have no understanding whatsoever as to HOW IN THE WORLD there can be those people that are Mr./Ms. Popular Perky Pants who are friends with EVERYBODY. Yeah, I'll admit it. I'm super jealous of those people sometimes. They are so...lucky. Everbody knows them. And everybody likes them. Not only that, they seem to have relationships with everybody. How. Is. That. Possible.

With me, it's like there's this wall. And outside the wall is awkward city because I SUCK at meeting new people. Really, I'm terrible. But for whatever reason, some people are able to climb the wall. Or maybe it's me that's doing the climbing. Either way, over time, I show glimpses of myself until finally, the guard is completely down. But it takes a very long time. And I really hate that. Why can't I be Ms. Popular Perky Pants? I know what you're thinking, "Well Kaitlyn, it's because you're shy." I just involuntarily grimaced. I detest that word. Shy. [shudders] I HATE being called shy. Am I part of some freakish breed of human that is born with this annoying invisible wall that normal people don't have? Ummm no. I refuse to believe that.

I think we all have walls. Even Ms. Popular Perky Pants. I think everybody is shy in their own special way. It's just that people are different. Some people are better at, well, being themselves. And some people are less confident. Or, to put it another way: Some people are way over the top with being who they are while others reserve themselves for a handful of people. One's not better than the other, they're just different. And I think "shy" people should have equal rights when it comes to relationships. Starting with not being immediately labeled as "shy." Because it's demeaning, honestly.

If anybody calls me shy, I'll sock em in the kissa.

What a mess.

Living up to it

He'll love me no matter what.
I'm a wonderful, beautiful creation.
But what will they think?
What if I do that?
Perfect.
He'll love me no matter what.
Why?
My friends think I'm brave.
But I conceal what's in my heart.
He'll love me no matter what.
I've screwed up so many times.
The same things over and over.
Again and again.
Perfect.
I'm a good person.
Well, I try.
He'll love me no matter what.
But what does he think?
What more can I do?
How can I prove myself?
Myself.
He'll love me no matter what.
Me, me, me.
Mine is the only opinion that matters.
Don't listen to what they say.
Turn the other cheek.
Be yourself.
Don't be something you're not.
He'll love me no matter what.
But what will they think?
What if they don't love me?
What if he doesn't love me?
Don't be something you're not.
I'm a wonderful, beautiful creation.
He'll love me no matter what.
Perfect?
No way.
Brave?
Sometimes.
Me?
Trying.
He'll love me no matter what.
Always.

Funny finds on zee internet.

If you don't think these are funny, you can jump off a cliff.

For some reason, anteaters make me laugh hysterically.

Creepiest. Picture. Ever.

"Elmo is watching, always watching"
thisisphotobomb.com
Gosh, this whole website just kills me.

Please, please watch this. OMG:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AsRLMrwjlg

The pants on the ground guy. Enough said.

Here's the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSLc64JGbDE&NR=1

This website is hilarious too!
www.verydemotivational.com

Rebel bird!
friendsofirony.com

Oh, the joys of the internet :)