Good golly this is tough.

Running, running.

Left turn, right turn.

Horizon hazy. Fog rolling in.

I'm not lost. I know where I'm going.

But,

How do I get there?

Did I miss the sign?

How could I miss it?

Wasn't I on the right track?

Running, running.

Breathing fast, heart racing, head spinning.

I am confused, bewildered, nervous --

afraid.

Is that what this is?

Since when am I a coward?

No,

I have strength.

Strength to run

with a beating heart, wide-eyes, open hands.

Fear will not overcome me,

darkness will not surround me.

I'm not lost, I'm on my way.

Because this is a journey.

Running, running.

So ready.

I've been ready to go home since the day I got back from Thanksgiving Break. And these past two weeks have honestly been the longest of my life. I haven't been able to sleep for the past week because I keep thinking "I'm going to be in my own bed soon!" The top bunk of twin bunk beds is just incomparable when that's the only thing I can think of. Oh and there probably won't be any crazy drunk people outside my windows or across the hall at my house either. Well, Nicky can get pretty crazy sometimes.

Oh! That reminds me. My mom told me the cutest story about my brother the other day. She left the house to go somewhere and Nick thought that she had left to go pick me up from school. So when she got back home, he was waiting in the garage and when my mom got out of the car he said "well where is she?" because he thought my mom had already gotten me. He was excited to see me! Isn't that the cutest thing in the world?

Adam and I are going to go on a GLEE rampage over winter break. 13 episodes. I was trying to figure this out, and I think it's going to come down to a Mega-Marathon because (unfortunately) there just isn't enough time to do everything we want to do :( But, but, but we're still going to have an amazing time :)

I'm definitely excited for the multiple sleepovers I have planned with my lovely best friends. My own bed is #1 on the Where I Most Want To Be Sleeping list, but Sam's bed is a close second [creepy smile]. And of course, Becca and I will be having some deep conversations in her bedroom. Hopefully the trundle bed doesn't collapse on me again. Good times.

So today I have one more final and then Mom, Grandma Amy, and I are hittin the road! I even made two cds to listen to because my mother doesn't love me and forgot to bring my cd case.

I. AM. SO. READY. TO. GO. HOME.

Oooo! Cheesy credit card commercial moment:

13 episodes of glee, 3 sleepovers already planned, multiple trips to Target and Barnes & Noble, 2 Christmases with my awesome family, 5 days at the Christmas Conference, lots of lounging around time, seeing my 3 best friends, and jumping on the 1 boy I love...priceless? Okay that didn't work out so well. You get the idea.

Somewhere between fuming and crying.

Have you ever met someone that's so polite, so generous, so selfless that they kind of make you sick? Yeah, that's my boyfriend. He's considerate and thoughtful and just plain good. And the craziest part? He feels awkward when I tell him this because he can't take a darn compliment. But enough about him. I'm going to talk about me.

I was feeling crappy today. All I had to look forward to was the riveting world of American Nature Writing and an encounter with my blasted professor, Dinosaur Man. So this is what happens when I'm in a bad mood: I get moody and I take out my anger on the people I love. I hate this about myself, I really do. Because it really is the last thing I want to do. I just want to be happy, so I'm mean to the people who make me happy? That makes no sense whatsoever. It's a major problem. So today was a classic case of Kaitlyn Being A Jerk, and who do I decide to unleash my wrath on? That boy I was talking about at the beginning.

I was a mess. I tried to say what was feeling. I tried to calm down. And do you know what he said in the middle of my mental breakdown? "I love you." Do you know how frustrating that was? How can anyone love me when I'm yelling at them for no reason? That just made me even more mad, honestly. But somewhere between fuming and crying, I realized how completely blessed I am to have someone who loves me when I'm being ridiculous. I am astounded by his patience, and I am so, so thankful. We were talking on the phone, but it was like he was hugging me, just waiting for me to come to my senses. And that was exactly what I needed.

So long story short, he frustrates me to the max and I'm pretty sure I will never completely understand him, but he loves me. And for that, I love him more than I can say.